


Graham Norton intervieuws Hermione and the Black Widows

by Fjodor



Category: Graham Norton Show, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Be-strange as Bellatrix, Discord: Bellamione Cult, Dromeda as Andromeda, F/F, Hermione is a baby gay, Hermione is also oblivious to who Bellatrix is, Hermione isn't a part of the order as she was busy keeping a dying fan club alive, Liriope as Narcissa, Metal Band AU, Otherwise everyone is magical, black widows, completly unknow in the magical world, future Bellamione content, non-magical Graham Norton, they are a big band in the muggle world, they stopped preforming about fifteen years before the one-short starts but they were big
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 08:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19247356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fjodor/pseuds/Fjodor
Summary: On tonight's episode of the Graham Norton show, we have biography writer, president of the Black Widows fan club, Hermione Granger and some special guests that are a surprise to all...





	Graham Norton intervieuws Hermione and the Black Widows

As she is waiting in the back she can hear the show starting, the cameras started rolling and the ‘recoding’ lights turned on. She let out a sigh as she looked on the monitor, Graham was making his way to the front of the stage, making sure that the audience was excited for the show. She could see him shaking a couple of hands with the people in the front row, she couldn’t hear was he was saying as his mic wasn’t turned on yet.

“...I hope you enjoy.”

It was the last thing that could be heard as a director told him that they were about to start, with a wave Graham moved to the mark that was just off-screen. She could see that he was in his element here, a professional that had hosted this show a thousand times.

“Hello, Good evening, you’re all very welcome,” he said as the audience let out thunderous applause, “A great show we have here tonight, we have one that you might recognise from her recent appearances on the BBC Radio 4 morning show, she’s made herself quite popular with the public...” he trailed off, that was her.

She had been nervous about what was about to happen, about two weeks ago there had been a surprise announcement that the Black Widows were back. Having been the unofficial-official president of the fan club, she had been more than excited about the news. In the past fifteen years, there had been a dwindling amount of members, down from the hundreds of thousands it had been in the mid-eighties, around five thousand members.

She had scaled down the club accordingly, making sure that there was still a functioning organisation to take care of the day to day business. She hadn’t been there when they were still around having come into it by her dad. Ever since then she had been a fan, watching the few VHS tapes that were made of the concerts more than a few times during her youth. When eventually the president of the fan club retired, left to do a real job, she had stepped in. no-one knew she was only ten when she started but with some foolery and her dad’s support she had managed to keep it going.

During the school year, she was stuck at Hogwarts which made running it a bit more difficult but she had made it work. She edited the yearly magazine that was published during the summer, researching and interviewing everyone that was ever in touch with the band, at the fourteen-year anniversary of their disappearance she had compiled a comprehensive account of all the work the band had done, any suspected solo-projects from the least-known member of the group. It had been her magnum opus, which had been received with praise from the other members.

They had urged her to take the time to take all the research that she had done that hadn’t been able to fit in the magazine and write a biography. Over the last year that had been her life and bread. Next to her studies, she had finished the book. The manuscript send-off at the beginning of May. the first published copy rolled off the presses at the end of July, it had been a bestseller.

She had never expected it, but as her dad had put it, the Black widows were what the Beatles were at the pinnacle of their success. It might have been a bit but they were ingrained in the cultural identity of Britain.

“Miss Granger?” a voice called out, it was one of the AD’s, ”Be ready, you’re on in a minute,” with that he walked away to go check up on something else. She looked towards the door behind with she knew the studio was. She had been taken through it quickly before she was put through hair and makeup.

Walking over she realized that she had completely missed who the other guest was, as she looked around to ask someone the door was opened before her and another AD motioned for her to move through. It was about time, let’s face the music, she thought as she walked in.

“She’s a talented writer, making us all invested again in Black Widows. Please welcome Hermione Granger,” He called out as she started ascending the stairs. The studio was filled to the brim with people who she had difficulty making out with all the lights that had been pointed at the stage.

Graham walked over to where she was coming up from his hand extended. “Hello,” he greeted her.

As she didn’t know exactly what to do, she decided that the best course of action was to just go with it. Graham was no-where as scary as a centaur, which helped her relax a bunch. “Hello,” she managed.

“Hermione Granger,” he told the crowd as she made her way to the couch. It had looked somewhat stiff when she had watched some of the last couple of episodes to know what she was getting herself into. Now she was sitting here she found out that is was decently soft, not a sofa she’d have at her home but for the two hours of taping it was good enough.

“Hello, Hermione, how are you feeling?” he started off the show, energetic as always.

“I’m good a bit nervous,” she admitted which got an affectioned reaction from the audience.

“No need for that here,” Graham flashed his smile as he sat back in his chair.

“I’ll try to remember,” she responded to a laugh from the audience, she had won them over she thought.

“So, you’ve been a bit busy in the last couple of weeks. Publishing a book, suddenly getting wrangled to be on all the radio shows that would have you,” he said as she nodded,” I’ve got to say that you might be one of the hardest to get guests we have had in a while.”

“My apologies for making it hard for you,” she quipped, cutting in with a joke. From where she was sitting there was a slight chance of expression in his face, some kinda relief that he didn’t have to carry the whole show, but that there was someone to have a conversation with.

“So, about the book,” he reached over to grab a copy, “this has been a bit of a pain to get hold of,” he said.

“I’ve heard that they were popular.”

“That’s become clear, I don’t think that there is a store in Britain that has any copies left,” at this, the audience gave them another round of applause. She slimed at that, it had been a dream come true really. The book was a passion project that had been fueled by the other members of the club, the fact that the printing had sold out had blown her mind. She had never expected to do it so quickly. 

“I have to say that we were all very surprised at the reaction.”

“We being?” he asked.

“Me, the publishing house, my parents....” she trailed off a bit, trying to remember if she missed anyone, “and of course all the people that let me interview to make the book possible.”

“I’m sure that your parents are proud of you for this accomplishment.”

“They sure are, they have been calling me every day with updates that it was sold out. After the fifth or sixth day, it did become a bit repetitive, I have to admit.”

“It is curious though,” he said as he opened the book, a closeup was visible on the monitor, it read.  _ An account of the Black Widows from everyone except them. _

“You didn’t have any interviews with the three members of the band for this book did you?”

“Unfortunately the band hadn’t been around for fourteen years when I started the writing of the book, the fact that they announced that they were coming back to the music scene was a huge boost for it.”

“I can imagine that,” Graham said as he closed the book again. “But now that they are back, have you tried to get into contact with them?”

“I have tried, in the past year while I was writing it and even before I send occasional letters to the old postal box. Never got a response though, so I went ahead with the publication without their input.”

“Is it also true that you have never been to one of their concerts?”

“That would be quite a task as I was born in the year before their unannounced disappearance, I got really into their music and all that after they were no longer touring,” she confessed, not that it was really news to anyone, it had been printed in the book and a couple of radio-interviews had hit on that point.

“It would have been indeed,” he said as the audience had a chance to laugh, “so it is also true that you have never met any of them?”

She sat up a bit straighter in her chair at that tone, she knew a setup when she saw it and this smelled like as much as a setup as it could, “yes, I’ve never met them,” she said with a strained bit of panic in her voice.

“Hmn, do you have a favourite out of the three?”

“Be-Strange,” she answered not even thinking about it, since the beginning she had loved the music that woman made. The fact that she combined vocals, drumming and the occasional keyboard was impressive from the get-go, but when she first saw a poster of her, Hermione had felt something more. She later found out that she had been feeling adoration at the time, which was pretty on point if she was honest with herself.

“And your second favourite?”

“You can't do that Graham,” she said sounding offended, “both of them, I’m not splitting them up.”

He smiled at that, it was funny to him, “So, Be-Strange as number one and then...”

“I mean they are all very good and I’m a huge fan of them but while I was younger, and even now I’ve always found Be-Strange better than the others.”

“So, interrupt me when I’m off base,” he said friendly, “you are the president of the Black Widows fan club, despite never having seen them play live or even meeting them in person?”

“That’s correct...” she said feeling that there was something coming, she wasn’t sure what, she had hopes, but for now she couldn’t let those run wild.

“And as you know even back when they were touring they were notorious about doing very few interviews on television or even radio,” he continued. She didn’t like this, he was gonna pull something.

“Even when they did it was very rare for more than one of them to appear together,” she didn’t like this, this, no, this was not good.

“No, Graham, this can’t be,” she started as he looked over her shoulder to where the stairs met the stage.

“I’m pleased to say that tonight for the first time ever I’m able to welcome...”

_ Fuck _ , she thought as she felt her body tense up as she half stood up, not sure whether to run or to stay.

“...The Black Widows to the show,” he shouted above the roaring audience. Everyone had stood up, making Hermione not stand out as much as she had moments earlier, the billowing wall of sound hit her first before anything else. Coming back to her senses she saw that Graham had gotten up out of his chair and was reaching his hand out to the other guest of the program.

This couldn’t be happening, she thought as she turned to look at the new arrivals.

Her mind when blanco, for a moment she feared that she had passed out before she came back to her senses.

There she stood, holding Graham Norton's hand in what seemed to be a painful handgrip. She was still a bit turned away from her but it was the closest she had ever been to her. Her black curly hair was flowing off her head and shoulders to the middle of her back. She could now see how she was standing right there without having to skim a VHS tape with shaky footage.

She stood taller than her, taller than she had expected as she saw both her and Graham. She had a couple of inches on the man, making a guess she would put her at about six feet flat. Letting him go she turned around to face Hermione.

The rest of the world fell away, as she now was looking at Be-Strange’s face she wasn’t sure what to take in first. The unexpected lines that were drawn on her face, the dark rings around her eyes that had been covered up but were bleeding through, or the eyes that seemingly were endless voids of darkness.

“Hello, mudpuppy,” the moment was shattered, the over thundering applause almost made her jump as she became aware of it again. This was not in the least helped by Be-Strange having placed a hand on her arm and had squeezed down with some force, it would leave a mark she noted but honestly she didn’t care. Taking it all in she found the twinkle in her eye to be the most interesting–wait she had called her mudpuppy, there was almost no-one that knew the old handle she had made for herself back when she had first joined the fan club.

Again she could feel herself freezing up, again there was that squeeze. It was a reminder to be grounded, there were other people here, she couldn’t just stop and inconvenience them with holding up production. No, she had to stay here, she was fine.

She was so fine, sitting down was going to be easy, just sit down. Bending her knees, she could do it. She had done this before, bending. She had to bend a lot, her knees her middle, she had done–as she went off about that the pressure in her arm had gone. Looking lost she saw that Be-Strange had moved to her other side and now she was face to face with the youngest member of the band.

“...more round of applause of the Black Widows,” she could hear Graham say as her hand was taken from her side as she mentally checked out, if heaven had been real she would be sitting in the audience right now. She was not sure if this was just a cruel nightmare or reality.

“It’s an absolute pleasure,” Liriope said as she shook her hand. It must have been that exposure therapy was something that did wonders or her body had just pumped her full of adrenaline putting her on a high now for her to crash down after this all was done.

“Uh humea,” she said. Okay, so she didn’t have it as much under control as she would have liked. But at least she said something.Liriope sat down leaving room for the last member of the band to greet her. It was the most mysterious member of the three, never being seen without at least one of the others and was well known for refusing to talk to the media or even the fans.

“It’s so great to finally meet you,” she said as she took a seat, from her side she could feel someone lightly tugging on her skirt. She took her seat.

“You too,” she finally managed as she broke eye-contact with them and looked over to Graham. She could see the face of absolute glee cover it. He was enjoying this. He so so was. And she couldn’t blame him. This was a nightmare come true, a nightmare that was akin to her deepest wish and wants but still scary.

“So, how do you feel Hermione?” he asked her.

“I’m feeling  _ fiiiine _ , thanks for asking,” she said trying to sound not so out of breath as she was at that moment. There was a jitteriness settling in as she was sitting still for longer and longer.

“Leave the girl alone,” the raspy voice called out to him, now it was unfiltered by the audience. She could hear that there was a restrained amount of emotion held back, it was not anger or disappointment, a purer primal roar seemed to be held back as she let the ‘alone,’ role out.

With his hands in the air, never letting the smile leave his face Graham turned his chair to face the ensemble of them now. The couch had been fairly empty when she had been sitting there alone but now she felt more like it was the underground at rush-hour. Her shoulders and arms were pressed up against Liriope and Be-Strange. She felt her sit back, not leaning on the backrest but more propping herself up with her elbows planted on it.

She was still just looking at Graham for support but he had started to talk with Dromeda, seemingly they had hit it off as there was soon a chuckle coming from her. The audience was on her lips as she spoke. It was unlike the others, Be-Strange’s voice had been screamed to shreds more times than she could imagine. There was always a moment in the tapes where her voice shifted, it felt like it hurt and it must have. But Dromeda’s voice was soft and well spoken.

“...I’m glad that you were a fan,” she ended the answer she was giving to him.

“So how did this all come back together?” he asked the group of them, for a moment Liriope started to talk when the Be-Strange interrupted.

“I was sent to Azkaban for making some inquiries with some force,” Be-Strange said deadpan.

For a moment Graham was stunned, he was not prepared for this, Hermione herself wasn’t prepared for it.  _ Azkaban _ , she knew the word, she even knew what it was referring to. She couldn’t have–” just joking, we all just got busy and all in all, we didn’t mind the break.”

“Ah,” there was nervous laughter coming from him, “Well I’m glad that you have decided to come back together.”

“So are we,” Liriope said as she gave Be-Strange a dark look, she, however, was unbothered by it. She had taken to half draping over the end of the couch that she was occupying.

“When you announced your return to the stage you also said that you had wanted to start off the new era with a song?” Graham read out from a piece of paper, Hermione recognised it despite the myriad of feelings that were coursing through her. It was written on the same stationery that the fan-club had gotten two weeks earlier. It formally announced their return, thanking fans for sticking around and that they had a song prepared to chime in the new era.

“Yes,” Dromena seized the moment and answered him, “we thought that it would be a nice wink to all of you who have waited for so long to be rewarded with something new.”

“Is this a new song?”

“I’m afraid that you’ll have to wait a little while for that still,” she said apologetically. It was so heart filled that no-one could be annoyed by her. There was an understanding noise coming from the audience like it was the most normal thing in the world.

As he went on with his interview she felt that her time in the spotlight had run out, he was still engaging her in parts here and there, it would be rude to exclude a guest she reasoned. But as she sat there she was in a constant fluxing state of being lowkey  _ horny _ , confused and ecstatic at the same time.

Be-Strange had said it, she had said Azkaban out loud. There was no way that a muggle would possibly know about the prison. But she did know. How had she even know, there could have been no. she was thinking in circles now, no new info could be gathered by just thinking she noticed.

Taking action she made a plan, she had to take in new information, there was a very easy way of doing that. She just had to gather up the courage and look to her side, just not in a way that would pull attention to herself and also not alert her.

Doing her best to seem casual she leaned back, Graham lifted an eyebrow at the action but didn’t question it as he was still in a conversation with Dromeda and Liriope. They were talking a bit about the history of their career.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her laying on her side, she had decided to face the crowd and was kinda inspecting them? It was a somewhat strange sight to be sitting next to be luckily there had been no indication that she had been found out.

Be-Strange was wearing a black dress before she focused on it she had just assumed that it was plain black. Now she had the chance to look closer, she noticed that there were several layers to her dress. The outer layer was of a thicker fabric than the fabric that she was wearing underneath. While the colour was monotone she could see that there had been a fair amount of attention put into it.

“Anything that you would like to ask them now they are here?” Graham asked her, waking her from the seeming veil of calm she had covered herself with. The audience noise came back in as if someone had turned the volume knob up all the way. She was lost for words though, not sure what to do with that power. She had naturally a thousand questions but now she had none that came out.

“Uhm...” she didn’t have anything. Graham saw what was happening and started salvaging the moment as best as he could, moving the situation away from her and back to the Black Widows.

“Did you have any notes you’d like to pass on to her?” he then asked them, pulling focus off her and back to the others. At this, there was the first real interest coming from Be-Strange.

“You know Norton, I do have some notes. When it was explained to me by Dromeda, there seemed to be a very missing part of the career we have had,” at this she left a pause, enticing him or maybe her to ask what she had missed in the biography.

Was she expected to ask? She didn’t really like it, there was a trap in those words. In all her time till now, she had seen traps come up a lot, in some, she had stepped unknowingly, some she had stepped in knowingly even. Now she didn’t want to step in it at all. Again she was pulled out of her thoughts by Graham.

“Tell me, what was missing?” he asked in a jovial manner, there was safety in a smile she realised. You could spin anything if the smile on your face was wide enough.

Before Be-Strange could answer Liriope leaned over to cover her mouth. Hermione was now pinned underneath her, she held her breath. The contact was a lot. She might not have been her favourite but she was still a member of the band that she was obsessed with. Her whole youth she had spend running the club. Now she was chairing a couch with them, being pinned underneath one of them, if she had been two or more years younger she was certain that she would have passed out by now.

“I don’t think we have any notes,” she told Graham even if it was more pointed to Be-Strange.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” he said before following it up with,” I hate to say this but you guys said you had brought some music for tonight?”

“That’s correct,” Dromeda said as they got up to walk over to the music set on the other side of the stage, “It’s nothing new but I have a feeling that you will quite enjoy it.”

With those last few words Liriope, Be-strange and Dromeda prepared themselves for the closer of the show. Somewhere in the back of the studio, Hermione could see the recording light go off and a couple of people from behind the stage rushed up to mic the Black Widows properly for the music.

“How are you holding up?”

She hadn’t been expecting the question, so she looked a bit confused when she looked back towards Graham, “I’m good,” she lied, well not exactly lying, she was ecstatic but also on the edge of starting to hyperventilate from the sheer amount of dreams being fulfilled.

“Drink some water,” he offered, “it will do you good.” This time when she saw him smile for real, not the fake media smile, or the overacted one, no this one felt real. 

“Thanks.”

“We’re ready to start rolling again,” an AD said from the side, with a mic taped to the side of his head he waited till Graham have the thumbs-up. “Rolling,” he said into it as he made his way offscreen.

“Welcome back, when you last saw us the Black Widows left to prepare and I am pleased to let you know, Black Widows with whatever cover they didn’t choose to tell us about!” he called out as the camera swooped over to where they were standing.

Starting off slow, she could see Be-Strange lift her drumsticks before Brining them down gently, Liriope pulled on her snares before Dromeda started to sing,

“We belong together,    
And you know that I’m right   
….”

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any thoughts about this, please let me know in the comments.  
> Or like anything just let me know there


End file.
